Kevin Junk of wolf auf tausend plateaus contemplates fictiophilia in an essay 

I’ve got some questions for you – so let me take a minute of your time. Hopefully, what I have say arouses your interest. 

So let me ask you: What is reality? What is attraction? What is desire? I know when you sit down and wank, you couldn’t care less. Maybe you only think that reality, attraction and desire only concerns you while cumming and staring at a screen. I mean, as long as you have fun, go for it. But if there is even the slightest sense of wonder in you, if I’ve even awaked the slightest curiosity, then follow me. I’d like to work your brain muscles out a bit. After all: smart is sexy, isn’t it? 

Have you heard of fictiophilia? What is it you ask? The definition, straight out of Urban Dictionary: the attraction to fictional characters. That sounds weird, doesn’t it? I’m shaming anyone, but it’s not a fetish you come across every day. It sounds like the fangirl you knew in high school who would tell you she was MADLY in love with Inuyasha, a half-human, half-demon anime character. Or people who are far too much into their Harry Potter and really wanna fuck Snape (RIP Alan Rickman).

The real attraction (aside from fangirling) does exist and it’s most evident among geeky circles. For me, it does seem a troubling idea to have feelings for someone you can never possibly reach. No matter if it is a screen or other, more difficult circumstance creating this distance. A philia is supposed to arouse you. And if it fuels your fantasies and gets you hard, why not? If you think you may be so inclined check out these virtual men to play with. 

While fictiophilia is by definition someone’s personal attraction to a fictional character, the person experiencing this desire is inevitably excluded from this fictional world. In order to enter the world, or fandom, or universe, you need to identify with someone. In order to identify, you need a more ludic approach. Let’s say: a game. Going back to my personal experiences, I have to admit, when playing Mario Kart, I always chose Princess Peach. It’s not the pink dress, white chick, blond hair, I-have-everything thing she represents. It’s also not necessarily her love for slightly overweight, mustached Italians (I’m twisted about this one), maybe it’s the fact that of all the characters within the Super Mario World, she represents the ultimate feminine. She’s the only woman within the narrower cast and as such, she was my point of entry into this world. There is no desire involved in this, but identification. This is about the mechanisms that can nurture fictional love in the long run. So, why Peach? 

David Halperin, a professor for Queer Studies at the University of Michigan, posits a nice theory in his book How To Be Gay. Exploring gay (American) culture, his theory goes pretty much like this: in a society, where a man has to love a woman and a woman has to love a man, the only way to love a man is to become a woman, or conversely a man. By desiring a man, I turn myself into the subjectivity of everything that is inscribed into a woman. I become Peach if I want Mario. But since things are a bit more twisted, since gender performances are prone to iteration and mistakes, I do not turn into a woman completely. I will mix it up, twist it around, maybe even get mad at myself and overdo it completely. Regardless of both its crucial simplicity and blissful ignorance of the gendered reality, this is the core dynamic that makes me identify with Peach. If you read some feminism into this, go for it. If you say now: hey, this makes a gay man a great ally for the fight for equal rights, good job. I wish it were like this. If you see here the core of femmephobia – you’ve read even another level into this. But none of this is the topic of this little mind fuck. I digressed. 

So, now we know: there is such thing as longing for fictional characters. And we also know, that in some fucked up patriarchal way, why we identify with a certain character in fictional universes. How does all of this relate to, well, gay porn? Porn is, no matter how much it tries to convince you of the opposite, also fiction. The very moment you enter this fictional world and you’re aroused, how far are you away from desiring a fictional character? Of course, once the men start making you drool and the precum starts dripping. There is no need for you to identify with a female character – that’s the liberation of gay porn, at least. But in the end, no matter if drawn, animated or flesh and blood – what happens on the screen will always be fictional and out of your reach. And fictiophilia of its own sort. In the meantime, I’ll be contemplating my twisted relationship to chubby, mustached Italians and white chicks in pink dresses… Happy wanking! 

Sources: dotpod.com.ar