Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, a time when everyone searches for that special, sexy someone for some new romance. But when you finally spot that sexy hunk, how can you be sure he’s gay? Well, purely for fun the Dandy Dicks team compiled a list of methods that “science” says prove if a man is gay or straight. Everything from ovulating women to the size of his junk can be clues to help you hone your gaydar.

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While Instagram is a great place to see what kinds of selfies all your best friends are taking, and to distract yourself from work with cute dogs and cats, it remains one of the best places to peep on some of the world’s prettiest Instagays. So to spice up your daily photo scroll, here are Dandy Dick’s picks for the hottest hunks on Instagram this week. Follow now and thank us later.

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Most of us know that notorious “I guess that cunt gettin' eaten” line from Azealia Banks’ “212” (you know, where she wants another girl to “lick my plum in the evening and fit that tongue tongue d-deep in”), and those who do have screamed it wholeheartedly in various states of intoxication at their local gay party at least once (don’t lie!). But what about dicks? Dicks need love, too (if you wanna call it that), yet many openly gay singers through the years have preferred a more “universal” (meaning non-gendered) lyrical approach in order to appeal to a “universal” (read: straight) audience.

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There’s this Turkish club night in Berlin that’s nothing like anything I’ve seen before. Once a month at legendary punk haunt SO36, the Turkish and Arab queer communities and their fans fill up the Gayhane party to dance to Eastern beats and pop anthems. It’s sweaty and full of hot hairy guys who move their hips a lot, a bit like Shakira’s “Hips Don’t Lie”-kinda thing. It is at this party where I’ve lived out my hottest fantasies, even if some came with a sobering and bitter aftertaste.

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Each week, Dandy Dicks will highlight a key figure in gay culture, be it past or present. These men are what we consider true Dandies, advancing our ideals of gay men everywhere and doing it with lasting influence and style. This week’s installment is on Klaus Nomi, an icon of early new wave who this week would have turned 72. He revolutionized the avant-garde for a new generation of club kids and was one of the first celebrities to draw attention to AIDS.

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