Playing only the hot friend in just about everything, Matt Bomer isn't exactly the most well known of our Man Crushes. Still mainstream indeed, this Missouri born-gentleman isn't new to Hollywood. Finding his first major role with a three-year character arc on Guiding Light (2001-2003) and followed by a regular stint on the unfortunate flop Eliza Dushku show Tru Calling (2003-2004), Matt has now been just-about on-the-radar for over 15 years.

Nowadays you’d most likely recognize this handsome face from American Horror Story. With Lady Gaga and Finn Wittrock, the show has been living up to our sexpectations expressed previously in Evan Peters’ Man Crush of the Week. With nothing but blood covering his naked body in the season premiere, Bomer grabbed our attention... as we grabbed ourselves.

Now at age 38, he’s at his hottest yet and we have a feeling he knows it. Baring it all for the camera in AHS, both Magic Mike films, and the Ryan Murphy-directed drama A Normal Heart, he knows what the people want to see. Putting Tumblr in a tizzy with every new scene featuring the sweet cheeks of Mr. Bomer, he’s developed quite the fan base of animated gif creators.

But let’s not get too hopeful, this guy has been happily married for four years now... unfortunately. (Or “good for him!” I think is what we’re supposed to say?) The behind-the-scenes powerhouse publicist, Simon Halls, and Matt married secretly in 2011 and only spread news at the 2012 Steve Chase Humanitarian Awards, where of course he had the honor of receiving one for arts and activism. (Which we’re sure is now sitting next to his most recent win, a casual 2015 Golden Globe.) His successfully maintained non-single status paired with literally every desirable quality many look for in a man is honestly starting to feel like a personal attack.

And just to add insult to injury, he’s a certified DILF too. The couple has three boys who could easily all be GAP kids tomorrow. Essentially, they’re the American dream. Keeping the children’s lives as well as their own relatively private, we feel as though they have a good thing going. The family maintains superstar status within the industry but can still do frequently adorable days out together with minimal paparazzi making them miserable.

He really is the total package. It’s taken far too long for this awful joke to be made and I apologize in advance. But to sum it up... Matt Bomer gives me a fat boner.

Sources: Pablogger, Stray Sheep, Gay Times, New Now Next, pugsandpaints