Guest columnist Rene Lopez gets wet, comes clean and makes us wonder if watersports are really as far from the mainstream as we think.

So yeah, I once I once hooked up with a guy who pissed in my mouth. He told me to swallow as it came gushing down and furthermore, I wasn’t to let a drop drip out of my mouth. I didn’t do it to be submissive but because it gave my sexual partner pleasure. Which of course in turn turned me on. And I took pride in that. And I also took pride that I didn’t spill a single drop coming out of his blasting garden hose!

There are many of you out there who secretly take pleasure in this, both with and without shame. But there’s no need for shame. If you’re one of them, whether you personally choose to disclose is up to you, but the more we guzzlers come out, the more we can have an open and honest conversation about gay sex today.

If you can get past the (somewhat imagined) stigma and want to take a dip in the pool, here are a few tips for splashing, because they didn’t teach us watersports in P.E.:

• Although morning wood is common, avoid morning piss. At least the first one, it tends to be über-harsh, especially the smell.

• Sounds like mother’s tips, but drink lots of water! Before, after and during. This is not just to stay hydrated but refers to the aforementioned smell.

• Refrain from foods and drinks like garlic, meats, coffee, protein shakes, vitamin supplements… and asparagus (Election fans understand this).

• For a sweeter smell and taste, eat and drink things like pineapple, strawberries and, yes, beer (score!).

• Remember to be patient; urinating with an erect dick can be very difficult and take a while.

• Do it in the tub. Not only is clean-up as easy as 1-2-3, but the option of showering afterwards is lovely.

What is it that makes piss play enjoyable? Is it about power? Is it about danger? Like any sex act, it’s about whatever you want it to be about. And there are so many variations of the kink; sniffing pissed undies, peeing while masturbating, wearing diapers to pee in or wearing head-to-toe dripping-wet piss-soaked clothes for hours or even days. Some simply take pleasure in secretly watching someone take a leak, and of course many also take pleasure in being watched, and some even enjoy being publicly urinated on. And these aren’t extreme examples in the slightest – the newest craze catching on in L.A. is men only into piss drinking after the guy has smoked meth.

While the last example may not be 100 percent doctor-tested, mother-approved, the urine of a healthy, sober person is essentially sterile and basically non-toxic as it is made up of 95 percent water. That’s not to say there are no risks (microorganisms living under foreskin can transmit some viruses or bacteria), but there’s no known case of HIV being transmitted by urine alone.

So there’s your starter kit. I’m into it; maybe you are, too. And there’s nothing to be ashamed of. You can even celebrate with fellow piss drunks from time to time. Like at Wet ‘N’ Hot, a annual three-day-weekend-long party held in Palm Springs. Just make sure everything’s consensual and you’re good to go. Bottoms up, boys!

Photo: urinalmen.tumblr.com