When it comes to anal sex, the act can recall the novel/film The Agony and The Ecstasy. That is, at times it can be pure ecstasy for the top, but the bottom’s bottom causes pure agony.

No one wants to see the end of a relationship be caused by a top who can’t relate to an end. But there are ways to make this a less painful and MUCH more pleasurable process for the fella who signs off on taking in the meat.

For rectal rookies or even veterans who are about to permit their man a trip down their Hershey Highway, it’s a good idea to try a ride yourself before allowing him to. That is:

Practice, practice, PRACTICE!

This means practice relaxing the muscles behind your skin balloon knot via the use of butt plugs, fingers and/or dildos covered in plenty of water-based lubricant like the appropriately named Astroglide. Once one of these have filled your rectal cavity, take a deep breath and relax – as you would with your lover.

When he comes over, take a hot, soapy bath together so both of you are as clean as a Toy Story screenplay. Once you are scrubbed and ready to be the one who is rectally rubbed, you as the catcher can ease up a bit more by inserting your own or his finger(s) (*but, to avoid any infections, make sure there aren’t any cuts on those digits!).

Once the finger practice session is over and your hole has been prepared a bit for penile entry, it’s important to remember the next step:  

Relax, relax and really RELAX!

Ease up and ease in. Take it and him extra slow until you both feel comfortable at performing at a faster pace – because when it comes to anal sex, being tense means pleasure can lead to pain and quite quickly.

And like every game, it’s best to pick the right:

Position.

A very much tried and true pleasurable position for a first-time receiver is for you to sit up, spread your legs, take hold of your team member’s member and ease it ever-so-slowly in. Your top can then hold your cock and stroke it for mutual pleasure. Once you’ve both become well practiced, go butt crazy and pick a different position (doggy, missionary, spoon and lying on your back with your legs in the air) that painlessly works for you.

Before any rectal cavity is filled up, it should be:

Emptied.

This means to make sure that you don’t hear any shit, you should take one before the sexual activity begins. That is, douche using clean water at body temperature (why there isn’t bottled water for this called “Rear Park” is a mystery). If douchebagging is not your bag, then do a hot shower and let your prying fingers really clear the cavity. After all, there’s limited room in a rectal room. If you want a real clean anal machine, the catcher should watch his:

Diet.

Before taking in meat, take in at least 60 grams of fiber and drink lots of water. If the idea of swallowing Shredded Wheat doesn’t whet your appetite, then swallow six grams of a fiber supplement called Konsyl. This will make your rectal walls spic and span so you can healthily take in your man.

Finally, a rear relationship as well as an emotional one will endear if there is:

Communication.

If the rear entry becomes painful for the catcher, don’t keep it in. Let the top know ASAP! After all, the rectum does not go in a straight line but in an “S” curve. After practice, this curvy road to anal happiness elongates and is much more receptive.  

So the next time you’re on a Hershey Highway, follow these driving instructions –

And enjoy a long ride!

Sources: Flickr