Online dating is no longer plagued with negative connotations that painted the participants as desperate, socially awkward trolls who were incapable of finding a mate the 'normal' way (duh!). It’s the freakin’ norm. Through the go-to apps like Tinder, Grindr and Scruff, it is now easier than ever to meet a guy for a date or something more casual (Nelly Furtado’s “Promiscuous” starts playing). Here’s how to not suck at it…

1. Have pictures that werk, i.e. appropriate photos

Whether you are on Tinder, Grindr or Scruff, and looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now, it is essential that you have a clear photo of your face. Nothing screams “creep!” more than a blurry photo that looks like it was taken with a twenty-year-old camera. What, the smartphone you’re using this app on doesn’t have a camera? Oh, it does? Then take a better picture, dammit, unless you want me to think you’re looking for your next victim. And don’t even get me started on all of the headless torsos circulating on Grindr and Scruff. I don’t care if you’re “discreet” or in the closet – unless you’re messaging Ichabod Crane then you better have a head attached to your body. How can you join these dating and hook up apps and expect to not have to show someone what you look like? Dumb.

If you are on Tinder and only have a single photo, then expect a left swipe from the majority of your dating pool. To get right swipes, you’re going to need several clear pictures and preferably a full-body one (with none of those tricky MySpace angles). It’s also good to include a picture of you with some friends, to let your suitors know that you are not some friendless scrub.

2. Take your time… put your back into it and fill out that profile

When filling out your profile, it’s essential that you are clear and concise with whom and what you are looking for. Having an extra-long profile will definitely not be read by everyone (lesbihonest), and having an empty profile leaves you open to a flood of messages from unwanted suitors. Be honest and state what you want, and you very well just might get it. 

3. Respect others’ profiles

As important as stating your desire is, it is equally as important to respect the desires of your fellow fellows. Whether a profile is looking for “masc4masc” or “masc4mascara”, an NSA fling or LTR thing, don’t waste either of your time by messaging them unless you actually fit what they are looking for. 

4. Have some class

This one is important if you don’t want to look like a thirsty and crazy bitch. Greet someone you are attracted to with a normal greeting, one that doesn’t consist of “looking” or something explicit. The same is true for nude photos; nothing worse than getting slapped with a dick pic at 9 a.m. on a Monday. Say “hello” and have a bit of a conversation before jumping into the explicits. I’m sure you can keep it in your pants for at least ten minutes, boys.

5. Stop repeating yourself! None of this constant messaging bullshit!

As with tip number five, not following this tip will leave you looking cray. This second “no-no” is to not continuously message an unresponsive user. If the dude you are messaging were interested, he would’ve responded to your first 15 messages. Relentlessly messaging someone who isn’t interested in you is harassment and reeks of stupidity and desperation (both of which aren’t good looks, hunty). Breaking either of these cardinal sins of online dating will spell doom for you.

Happy hunting, kiddies.