Big, bright blue European daylight for the first time in six days. I’m on tour in Germany with my best friend Sprinkles. We’re nightclub singers, and I have to go pick her up for band practice. I haven’t seen the sun all week, and now I’m trudging across town in my sexiest outfit so I don’t get lost in the daylight. I like my clothes, I guess, I’m from New York, but really I like it more when my body shows through them. Here, I am naked and nocturnal no matter what time it is or what I’m wearing. You wanna see my bones through my skin through my clothes? I’ll show them off and make you hungry.

The sunlight here up north spits sideways at me. I’m dizzy and wear dark glasses. Chain smoking and walking in big boot strides. Fido stopped me that Sunday morning on the sidewalk as I stomped out my Gauloises on the steps of the U-Bahn station. Came up to me walking his bike with a real slow, heavy cruise and asked me my name in German. 

I said Billy, and he switched to English. Fido is beautiful but not my type. He’s blond, bleach blonder than me with long hair. His face is gaunt and his eyes are so blue they’re like white even underneath sunglasses. Scary and tough, but I’m taller, I could take him. Hope I get the chance.

He asked me what I was doing in town, and I just answered him with the same questions. We’re both singers with shows that night. He has to save his voice, he says. I want to use his up. He invites me over to his house, but I demure till later. I give him my American number, six digits shorter than his.

I pick up Sprinkles, and we gossip about my date that night. In Berlin she turns heads, wakes up in gold glitter and spotlights on her eyes. Tight bright blue jeans, her package showing through (she’s a big-dick Brit tranny, natch) and long red curly moviestar hair. We walk arm in arm through the city singing to each other. We’re not saving anything for our show tonight. I wanna get used up before we hit the stage. Start fresh. After espresso and pink French cigarettes, I bid Sprinkles abientot and meet up with Fido at dusk, back on the corner where he cruised me.

He takes me home with him. His apartment is spare and dark, and I want to check out the stacks of records in his hallway, but he starts kissing me. I’m on vacation turning multilingual. His tongue is huge, flat, thick and sweet. It’s the second largest muscle in a human’s body, but for Fido I bet it’s the first biggest.

He’s grabbing my ass, and it’s pitch black night by now. He takes off my shirt and starts sucking my dick. Slobbering on me, he’s breathing heavy, concentrating. He moans when he’s gagging on my dick, and the sound of his voice sends vibrations through my pelvis. He’s jerking off and fingering me, and a black cat is stalking around my feet. I’m leaning against the wall and the only light is through the windows of the neighbor’s house. Fido’s hair is long – it falls in his face while he’s blowing me. He sweeps it to the side and smiles at me while he pinches his left nipple and kisses the head of my cock. 

“I want to go to bed,” I say.

He grins, and his teeth are crooked but clean. Leads me into a spare room with a huge gray bed on the floor, Buddha statues and incense and lots of low-hanging lanterns. “Are you Buddhist?” I ask him as he positions me on the bed, gruffly.

“Ja” 

“Cool,” Fido swivels around while he sucks my dick, puts his knees at my ears and grunts and sighs. “Me too.” I’ve always been a bigmouth, but it’s true, too – I think we’re all dead anyway. I’m sucking his dick, and he’s moaning, and I don’t have a translator, but I know he likes it. I’m a really bad gossip - I’m politically opposed to keeping secrets. That’s Buddhist, too.

Fido is eating my ass and I’m jerking him off. His cat is pacing in the hallway; I can hear the neighbors are drinking something with ice in it. I don’t understand, but I’m getting German lessons and newly conversant - I know they’re talking about sunburns, and it makes me think of home. Fido is kissing my neck and holding my hands above my head; the bed is just cushions (real simple, see, real zen mein Herr). He puts on a German condom, I’m thinking about rations and almost apologetically, he’s on top of me, murmuring softly and kissing me behind my ears.

Fido fucks me precisely and surely, keeps sweeping his hair back – he’s athletic. That makes me the track he’s running on. My gravel is red; I am surrounded by cheering crowds and sun-baked burnt. He moans when I play with his nipples – “Oh,” he says, “oh, uh, oh,” surprised. His left nipple is more sensitive. I’m learning so much here. His cat is purring while he fucks me. I lock my ankles behind him, and he stretches me taut, holding my wrists together like a violin. He jerks off onto my chest. He is certain, and empirical I cum with him straddling me, it shoots up his back, the neighbors are laughing, it sounds like they’re cheering us on.

Afterwards, he pours me German apple juice and gives me cookies, thanks me for visiting him and tells me he hopes I have a good show that night. I do, and am sure I will again.

Image: Cabaret (1972)