Traveling full-time leads to more than a few adventures. Here are some of the craziest experiences I’ve had in my life so far.
We met in Tel Aviv near the central market (or Shuk Ha’Carmel), at a small gay club that doesn’t exist anymore. It wasn’t known for much except for its trashy dancefloor. That’s where I’d singled him out, and as we were both there alone, we quickly found ourselves with our hands wrapped around one another (and briefly down each others’ pants). And as sexy as a one-night stand sounded, I opted for a phone number and a promise for a future date. This was my chance for the elusive Israeli holiday boyfriend.
When our date night finally came, I showed up to his home nervous and excited. I was young and pretty immature, not used to dating. We ended up drinking coffee, getting high on hash and playing video games in his bed. Still, we kept our hands to ourselves until later when we were walking along the beach. As the night wound down and I walked him home, he invited me up to his rooftop. In Tel Aviv, most rooftops are easily accessible and plenty of parties, get-togethers and events take place with clear views of the Middle Eastern sky above.
On his rooftop, though, there was a hammock – just something simple, made of rope, hanging lazily. It didn’t take us long to get naked, our hands and mouths all over one another. And even while sex in a hammock (on a rooftop, nonetheless) was awkward, it was still hot and sexy. And though there wasn’t a relationship, it was one hell of a way to remember my summer in Tel Aviv.
I’d been traveling on a trip around the world for almost a year at this point. I’d met plenty of other backpackers along the way, but in Cambodia, perhaps a little lonely, I latched onto two other solo travelers – a guy and a girl, both coincidentally from the UK. We became friends fast and spent weeks traveling Cambodia (and eventually Vietnam) together. And perhaps because they were each a few years younger than me, or maybe it was because they were British, we seemed to have one crazy, chaotic experience together.
In the riverside city of Kampot, where we spent a week eating junk food and getting high, we did manage to do some sightseeing. A nearby national park came recommended by every guidebook we found ourselves flipping through while lounging by the river each day, so one day we packed up our joints and some picnic supplies, rented motorbikes and made our way up the mountain. Driving (sober) through the fog, we found an abandoned, run-down church, where we smoked some joints and told spooky ghost stories. Later that day, on the way down the mountain, somehow we managed to break one of the motorbikes – a flat tire, or a lack of fuel, who can remember? We miraculously were able to hitch a ride in the back of a passing pick-up truck, making our way back into town, back to our riverside bungalow where more joints were shared and more stories told.
It was Christmas Eve. Traveling through India was tough, but thankfully I was with one of my best friends, a former co-worker who’d also quit her job to backpack around the world. In Bangalore for the holidays, we’d decided to try out Couchsurfing with a local Indian couple. We’d only met up with the couple in the evening, and after sharing some take-away pizzas and whisky, we found ourselves all quite relaxed and open. That’s when the couple shared with us their secret: They were swingers, and so were their friends. They wanted us to know, just in case. And though we had no interest in swinging, we made the best of it.
Christmas Day came and we’d agreed to invite other traveling Couchsurfers over for a party – on their building’s rooftop. An Italian in the group cooked pasta for Christmas dinner, and I played the DJ on a stereo system way too loud for a surprisingly quiet neighborhood in Bangalore. Our new swinger friends spent the evening propositioning everyone in the group – notifying each one that they were swingers, that they were open-minded, that they were available. Too much whisky later, and the small party of us that had gathered was all but passed out. And my friend and I were on the next available train out of Bangalore.
Like all good parties, there was too much tequila involved. As a student in London, there was also a serious lack of finances. Imagine yourself as a 20-year-old American student in the UK. So much freedom, the ability to legally drink in bars and clubs, boys with British accents everywhere. But with no money, I found myself most often in student parties and the small, hipster, underground clubs organized for students. Tequila shots for just 1£ each, all night long – just about every night of the week.
It was a Tuesday evening and I found myself at one of these parties with a group of friends. Trying to show off my party skills, having found the cheap and trashy (but oh-so-fun) club the week before, I must’ve overdone the tequila shots. Because after about 20 minutes on the cramped dance floor, I found myself in the bathroom, splashing water on my face. It wasn’t until 3 a.m. when I woke up in a toilet stall to the sound of a guy yelling at me, “Oi, you, wake up and get out of here,” did I realize something had gone wrong. Seventeen missed calls and text messages “where r u?” led me to believe I’d been out for a while – and my friends were long gone, thinking I’d pulled. Thankfully I still had 10 quid left in my wallet (how?!), but that wasn’t quite enough to get me back to my place. A taxi took me as far as my money lasted, leaving me with a 30-minute walk home, smelling of toilets and tequila.
My Instagram often lights up with comments and follows and likes, but this one was different—a reply to my photo check-in at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport. “You’re here?!” A small exchange through private messaging and I found myself with a semi-date that very same night. Surprised to see me in his city, he’d invited me out on a tour with him through the Dallas gay scene. Not being familiar with the scene, despite living in the Dallas suburbs until I was 18, I was eager and interested to explore. He volunteered his night and, after a brief meeting at his apartment, we drove to Oak Lawn and found ourselves at BJ’s NXS club for “Trashy Tuesday”.
Neither of us was drinking because cars, but we had a nice conversation. As it turns out, we had a lot in common (including the fact that we each had boyfriends in relatively serious relationships). His tour through the Dallas gay scene brought me to some pretty sleazy joints – including one where, I learned, he used to work as a go-go dancer. Eventually we ended up back at his place, listening to some indie rock on his record player, flipping through vintage porn magazines and swapping stories about our relationships. Eventually we made our way into bed, purely platonically – until morning. Instagram’s the newest hook-up app, did you hear?
Adam is a travel blogger and writer based in Berlin. Follow him on Instagram for more crazy adventures ;-)
by Adam Groffman
And who the hell am I? If you’ve been following the blog at all, you may have wondered out of which horny hole this perverted punk has stepped. I won’t reveal too much – a bit of mystery is sexy, right? But a few things may be in order.
First, I was born in that part of the world that most people think is actually Canada, but it’s not. I was born in Alaska. Who would have thought that place could produce more than oil and Sarah Palin – two decidedly unsexy things.
Second, I’m no stranger to sex on screen. I appeared in two arty porn films with DVD releases: one in San Francisco and one here in Berlin. There may be other footage of me out there, but if so, I don’t know where. And yup, I moved to Berlin from gay ol’ San Francisco, where I learned to be a proper fag and how to be a writer all at the same time.
There’s more from San Francisco coming your way via Dandy Dicks, so stay tuned.
But I left San Francisco. And took my heart with me. Five years now in Berlin and I can’t think of a better place to be. I’ve been making it here as a writer ever since and I’m happy to report there’s no going back.
I think I’ve given you enough of the basics. More you’ll just have to find out either through this blog or a little Google. But I hope with that you stick around Dandy Dicks – for this blog and of course, the boys!
Walter Crasshole